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Can Somebody Get Me a Bucket!?
31 July 2006

I am sick! I have experienced a loss my friends! I have experienced a loss equivalent to one of great financial proportions! I spent this afternoon's free time (the last afternoon of my "stay-at-home-mom career") working on a long overdue article for the pond.

Before publishing,I decided to cut and paste the words of my masterpiece into Microsoft Word's HTML editor. I felt the need to re-read it's full perfection in a larger window, privately. I wanted to let her (this genius and original creative piece of work) go slowly into the world wide web. Alone, she would soon leave me and selflessly subject herself to comment and diverse opinion! Plus, I still needed to use my spell checker.

I do not understand what happened next. Today's baby went bye bye! The imagery of a lost valuable is the best way I am able to describe the feelings I am experiencing. This image looking something like, loosing your entire month's salary after a great period of unemployment. Or, being the idiot who makes a careless driving mistake causing the complete and total wreckage of your best friend's band new and life long dream car!

I am sick dear friends, just sick! Will somebody please get me a bucket? I was two seconds away from entertaining my family and friends by providing a momentary glimpse into the world that is my "on the verge of a NB" and never ceasing brain!

(Ash reverts to her 14th year of life, whining...)

"I worked really really hard on it and now I am just tired and mad and have nothing but a sick stomach to show for my efforts! The four chocolate chip cookies and Diet Dr. Pepper I had for dinner were a momentary comfort. Now, I am bummed, exhausted and sugar sick! Blah Blah Blah... "

Ok... I guess I can rewrite it for y'all... someday. I was so excited about picking on my mom, sisters, and nieces. I was completely ready for witty retorts and unbiased personal remarks! I was all dressed up and now I have no place to go.

(Ashley sniffles as she stands, wiping away a tear, to take center stage in her living room.)

"I think my feelings can best be expressed by using the art form of theatre. Please, allow me to provide for you my interpretation of a brilliant and historically significant monologue. The piece comes from a scene in the (incomparable Drew Barrymore'’s) runaway blockbuster hit, Never Been Kissed. My (and Ms. Barrymore's character) being the ever hopeful and resilient, Josie.

As our scene opens, the audience perspective is that of a close up on Josie's hopeful and expectant face. She has prepared herself for a dream prom date with the campus hunk, and the object of her unrequited love. Josie, not yet aware of the cruel fate to befall her, stands outside the protection of her parent'’s home. She anxiously awaits the arrival of her prince charming. Looking up from her silver, purple and pink metallic ensemble, Josie sees the beginning or her dream approaching her front door. Her prince presents himself standing in the sunroof opening of his limousine. All out of love, she gazes upon the object of her affection, awaiting the beginning of their lives together. Horribly, she begins to detect the presence of her rival, Lisa. This female version of Quasimodo, she soon learns, is her dream man's real prom date and co-conspirator. Before Josie can allow the synapses in her brain to fire, she is pelted with eggs and publicly humiliated. The man she once believed to be her future husband continues to hurl unthinkable insults toward her as she steps into the full realization of her fate.

(Clearing her throat and taking a step forward, the actress (ashley) chooses a completely appropriate and perfectly executed dramatic pause. Firmly placingng her hands upon each side of her head, she speaks...)

Josie: "“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Thank You.... I will survive this episode to write again. I fear the lost post will remain lost.Foreverver. Her public form was just not meant to be seen. However, I am still going to present the illustration (<--- left---) and the quote that inspired the original post's creation. Please allow your imaginations to run wild. I always do... Amy Darby writes...

"Let me be the first to express my deep disappointment in your choice of layouts for your myspace page. PINK!??! SPARKLY GLITTERY GRAPHICS!??!? HAVE YOU NO SHAME? NO SENSE OF DECENCY? Are you trying to channel a prepubescent girl who thinks she picked the color pink for her favorite despite the evidence to the contrary, having been conditioned from birth that pink=girly. Therefore she succumbs to the predetermined gender role/stereotypes and meekly concedes to the color chosen for her because of her genetalia. Think about it Ashley. Think long and hard. Not to mention Barbies are the devil. Dress/ undress/ accessorize. This is what girls do. Think about it."

posted by Ash @ 7/31/2006 07:22:00 PM,

2 Comments:

At 6:22 PM, August 01, 2006,  rebeccalynn said...

I hate when that happens! But, on a WAY more important note... when is the Hot List going to be updated?? I haven't been notified of any impending deliberation. Get on it, girl, and keep me posted!

 

At 1:11 PM, August 02, 2006,  rkellywhite said...

Control S, my dear Sister!

 

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Previous Posts

• Spa Day.... at last!!
• Response to Becca...
• Paradise Road...2006
• A Boy has his Dog...
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Links I Like

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Friends

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  Listen To ETA Music!)
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Movies I Love

(Movies that I will watch over and over again!)




Bridget Jone's Diary
Miramax Films
2001
At the start of the New Year, 32-year-old "singleton" Bridget decides it's time to take control of her life and start keeping a diary. Now, the most provocative and hysterical book on her bedside table is the one she's writing."


A Christmas Story
MGM Distribution Company
1983
Deliciously warped and winsome boyhood memories of Christmas are told by a typical American man revisiting his native Indiana during the 1940s. Among other childish pursuits, his overriding obsession to finally own a genuine Red Ryder BB gun consumes his feverish imagination.

Coal Miner's Daughter
Universal Pictures
1980
The story of Loretta Lynn, COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER charts the rise of the queen of country music from her upbringing in backwoods Appalachia to stardom at the Grand Ole Opry.

Fargo
Gramercy Pictures
1996
Jerry Lundegaard is a car salesman in Minneapolis who has gotten himself into debt and is so desperate for money that he hires two thugs to kidnap his own wife. Jerry will collect the ransom from her wealthy father, paying the thugs a small portion and keeping the rest to satisfy his debts. The scheme collapses when the thugs shoot a state trooper and two innocent bystanders in rural Minnesota, drawing local Police Chief Marge Gunderson into her first homicide investigation. At first unaware that the homicides are connected to a Minneapolis kidnapping, Chief Gunderson draws closer to Jerry Lundegaard as his situation further unravels.

Gladiator
DreamWorks SKG
2000
When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by a corrupt prince, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek revenge.

Good Will Hunting
Miramax
1997
Will Hunting, a janitor at MIT, has a gift for mathematics which is discovered, and a psychologist tries to help him with his gift and the rest of his life.

Grease
Paramount Pictures
1978
A rock 'n' roll celebration of growing up and falling in love.

Hair
United Artist Films
1979
During Vietnam, a small time farm boy enlists in the army and encounters New York City hippie subculture.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
New Line Cenima

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2001
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
2002
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
2003


Moulin Rouge
20th Century Fox
2001
Christian, a young Bohemian poet living in 1899 Paris, defies his father by joining the colorfully diverse clique inhabiting the dark, fantastical underworld of Paris' now legendary Moulin Rouge. In this seedy but glamorous haven of sex, drugs and newly-discovered electricity, the poet-innocent finds himself plunged into a passionate but ultimately tragic love affair with Satine, the club's highest paid star and the city's most famous courtesan.

The Notebook
New Line Cenima
2004
An epic love story centered around an older man who reads aloud to an older, invalid woman whom he regularly visits. From a faded notebook, the old man's words bring to life the story about a couple who is separated by World War II, and is then passionately reunited, seven years later, after they have taken different paths.

Sense and Sensibility
Sony Pictures Releasing International, Sony Pictures Releasing
1995
As Elinor and Marianne struggle to find romantic fulfillment in a society obsessed with financial and social status, they must learn to mix sense with sensibility in their dealings with both money and men.

The Shawshank Redemption
Sony Pictures Releasing, Showtime Networks
1994
Andy Dufresne, a mild mannered New England banker, is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover. Despised at first by the other inmates because of his introverted manner, Andy slowly forges an unlikely friendship with Red, a seasoned lifer and his gang.

There's Something About Mary
20th Century Fox
1998
There's something about Mary that still bewitches Ted. Although he hasn't seen her in over a dozen years, since that shameful prom night, his heart still flutters at the recollection of her. He's still crazy about her after all these years, and curious as to her whereabouts. At the insistence of his good friend Dom, he hires private eye Pat Healy to track her down in Miami.

Urban Cowboy
Paramount Pictures
1980
John Travolta and Debra Winger star in this cowboy version of SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER, in which all the action takes place at Gilley's country-western bar, a rough-and-tumble honky-tonk in the heart of Houston. Travolta plays Bud, a young country farmer who moves to the city to find work at an oil refinery and finds love with Sissy (Winger), a cowgirl of easy virtue and spirit.

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